NYE for the Independent Traveller
There are always certain sacrifices that extended solo travel imply. So here is a helpful guide I've prepared for how to have the best New Years Eve if you find yourself alone and in a strange place.
6 pm. Eat dinner alone. And by alone I mean in a guesthouse dining room without any living being within a 100 ft radius.
6:30 pm. Finish dinner. Since it's NYE decide to go into town to get *ice cubes* as a treat to enjoy your bottle of duty free.
6:45 pm. Get soaked by a freak downpour in the dry season. No one in town has ice.
7 pm. Pour yourself a warm drink in your tiny room. Alone. No ice.
7:30 pm. Mosquitos descend and ingest over 30% of your blood.
7:45 pm. Realize you're sitting alone in your room on a broken bed under your too-small mosquito net, drinking alone.
7:46 pm. The power goes out, everything is black.
7:47 pm. Pour another drink.
7:48 pm. Play cellphone games for fun AND illumination. Party for one??
8:30 pm. Realize it's 8:30 pm.
8:31 pm. Realize you've consumed a third of a bottle of duty free.
8:32 pm. Pour another drink. Play more Angry Birds until your dead cellphone leaves you in complete darkness.
9:30 pm. Walk to the beach. There are parties there.
9:35 pm. Realize you are too old for the backpacker bar, but too young for everywhere else. You are the only person alone.
9:40 pm. Walk along the beach, hear some amazing drumming. Find a group of Sri Lankans sitting on the beach singing playing drums and drinking harsh local spirits.
9:45 pm. They love you. You clap on time expertly, you drink their awful booze without serious complaint, you eat the sand covered food on offer, you smile and discuss 'Sri Lanka good' in broken English. This is why you travel!
9:50 pm. One guy gets serious and tells you to buy them a bottle of booze because they offered you some of theirs, another shakes your hand but has a death grip and repeats the same to you, a third kicks sand down your back, maybe by accident. Why do you travel??
9:51 pm. Explain that you have to meet a friend but will be right back and will have booze! Never return.
10 pm. Realize you are too drunk. But only just drunk enough to enter a beach club playing awful music. You are alone, therefore sit by the bar.
10:30 pm. Watch the bar staff scramble to keep up with a packed bar. They use filthy glasses, spill everything, and look terrified. Order beer.
10:35 pm. Realize you are fresh meat for drunk unattractive women who apparently travel in packs. You do not want this.
11 pm. Move to a plastic table at the beach, drink your beer. Block your face from drunk people setting off large exploding fireworks.
12:20 am. Who's a new year.. ? ?
?? am. Guess it's time for bed. Walk home in blackness, street lights are still out. Stub toe.
??? am. There's a beach dog in your room? What a good boy...
10 am. Attempt to remove dagger from temple. Fail. Uugh.